The joyful irony of cancer

CASTLEBAR woman Deirdre Kelly has written about her experience over the last year dealing with an ovarian cancer diagnosis. When going through treatment she promised herself she would do something afterward to try and increase awareness of ovarian cancer. Deirdre has a key message for women: be conscious of the symptoms and get to your GP as early diagnosis is the key when treating OC successfully.

Here is Deirdre's story, in her own words.

 

 

The joyful irony of cancer

 

ON September 22, 2015, at 45, I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Called the silent killer, I was incredibly lucky to be diagnosed at stage one and that was down to an amazing GP and my own sense that something just wasn’t right.

I didn’t have any very pronounced symptoms, they were all very vague and attributable to other day to day ailments to the point that when I went to the GP it wasn’t for anything to do with them at all but the little voice inside my head that told me to talk to the GP 'just in case'.

The GP felt a mass in my abdomen and I was in A&E about an hour later. The weeks following were full of tests and appointments that brought me to the consultant’s office on September 22 to be told that I had cancer.

There are many words that automatically come to mind when faced with a cancer diagnosis but joy is not one of them! Words including fear, terror, anxiety, sadness, anger are, to name just a few.

When you hear the word cancer it’s like you are instantly cast as the lead role in your own tragedy that you never auditioned for and have no desire to be part of. You can't quite get your head around the fact that you are now a cancer patient and you have lost control over your own body.

The sense of fear that descends on you is truly beyond anything that words can adequately describe and you start the treatment process facing your own mortality and truly believing that your days are well and truly numbered.

It’s only when you are nearing the end of treatment and you dare to let yourself believe that you will survive, that you begin to realise that cancer has actually done you a favour and allowed you to see life in a completely different way. I'm not saying that I would have chosen to be a cancer patient, chosen to put my body through hell by allowing it to be pumped full of poison, but the process has truly opened my eyes to what is really important and as a result filled my life full of joy, and believe it or not for that I am truly grateful.

From the outside I look normal, apart from the crew cut that is still evident as I wait patiently for my hair to grow back, but inside I couldn’t be more different. From waking up in the morning and looking out the window, even when it’s raining, to making Peppa Pig jigsaws with my two-year-old niece, I embrace the joy of every minute now with a vigour that I have not experienced before.

Appreciating the musings of my seven-month-old nephew, having almost adult conversations with my 11-year-old niece, analysing gymnastics competitions with the 10-year-old and wondering where are the Pokémon with the eight-year-old have taken on a dimension that makes them EPIC!

Realising how incredibly lucky you are to have many wonderful people around you, family, friends and work colleagues who go out of their way to support and encourage you, is a truly humbling experience that presents you with a new understanding of real gratitude.

On my 'Cancerversary' I just want to encourage all women out there (and indeed men) to listen to their bodies. If you feel that something is not right then don’t give up until you are happy it is being fully investigated. This is especially important with ovarian cancer as its symptoms are so vague and are often attributed to other causes which result in late diagnosis when the cancer is more advanced and more difficult to treat.

The key with ovarian cancer is to catch it early. If caught early and treated promptly the prognosis is good.

OvaCare (www.ovacare.ie) are an Irish ovarian cancer awareness charity that provides excellent information about symptoms and also an amazing online forum that has been an invaluable resource for me on my cancer journey. I would encourage all women to have a look at their website and visit their GP if they are experiencing any of the symptoms described there.

In conclusion, hearing the word cancer is not something I had in my five-year plan and it’s not something I would wish on anyone. However, with modern medical techniques and more than a pinch of positivity many people live to tell the tale.

I don’t know what the future holds but in telling my tale I hope that some women at least will think twice about discounting their vague symptoms as I did, go to their GPs and talk to them about them. In the vast majority of cases it will not be anything serious but sometimes it might just save your life.