Is drink the real demon?

MAYO WOMAN'S DIARY: BARBARA DALY

WHEN Gary or I have a stressful day with the kids or at work we reach for alcohol.

We should probably go for a walk, meditate or listen to music, but it is so much easier and immediately gratifying to reach for a beer or a glass of wine.

It may not be every night and it may not be much alcohol but I wonder is this a healthy relationship with alcohol? Is any use of alcohol healthy?

I say ‘use’ because after all it is a drug and not merely a drink.

How many problems in households, families and relationships start with or are fuelled by alcohol?

How many problems would not arise at all or not grow out of control if it weren’t for alcohol?

How many accidents happen because of alcohol or the after-effects of it?

It is probably difficult to answer any of these questions because so much drinking is done quietly at home, without any fanfair and is unrecorded by a society that completely accepts and even champions its use.

As we know there are so many knock-on effects of alcohol misuse for mental health, employment, poverty and relationship breakdowns, among others, though they may not be fully recognised or acknowledged.

My brother died an alcoholic five years ago at the age of 51. I often wonder what caused his alcoholism.

I wonder was addiction in his genes or was it a disease he developed. Was it neither of these but simply the culture and society he grew up in where alcohol was so prevalent?

Maybe it was a combination of factors. He was a late arrival to alcohol and once admitted he only started in an effort to overcome his social shyness.

The answer is I don’t know and I probably never will. He had his demons, of that I am sure, and he did not have the skills to cope with them.

I often think he was on a mission to end his life and this was an accessible way to do it.

When I look back over his life and what I know of it, it is likely he was always bound for a rough path.

So is alcohol the real demon or is its use or abuse just a symptom of something worse?

I believe that in my brother’s case his tragic end was caused by more far-reaching issues.

Alcohol was his way out.