Can you afford to have a family?

A MAYO WOMAN'S DIARY: BARBARA DALY

I REMEMBER saying to a friend before I had children that I was worried about not being able to provide for them.

She already had children and dismissed my concerns immediately.

She said that all children needed was to know that they were loved, that money was not important.

However, I now know that having children is a costly affair and more so than ever. It can start for many couples before they are conceived, with the high cost of private fertility treatment.

The paraphernalia of babies can be had cheaply if you are willing to use other people’s second-hand donations.

Thankfully, this has now become trendy as we move towards more sustainable consumerism.

Everyone wants to have a warm, comfortable, long-term home for their children and so parents find themselves under pressure to get a mortgage.

The need to be near family and friends for support might mean paying over the odds or being forced into an extortionate rent.

This past winter there were also the dreaded bills for keeping the house powered and warm.

Then there is childcare. You have to consider if it is available near where you live so that you can continue to work if you choose.

If you are lucky enough to find childcare, watch out, as the cost may be so prohibitive as to make working no longer viable.

If you live in rural Ireland you will need at least one car to bring you to work and children to schools and other activities.

In fact, it can be hard to manage with just one car if you live off the beaten track.

Then there are all the incidentals that come along – school expenses, extra-curricular activities, birthday parties, new shoes to replace the ones they shredded on their scooter, a scooter. It never ends.

Finally, just when you think you are on top of everything you realise that in x amount of years they may be looking to go to college and a sizeable fund will be needed for that.

Obviously it would make sense to plan ahead and save from an early stage but not everyone can manage that.

The government too has a role in providing more affordable fertility treatment, childcare, better public transport and increased housing.

No one should miss out on the chance to experience the wonder of parenthood because they cannot afford it, but sadly, love is not enough these days.