Billie Lourd reflects on evolving grief on anniversary of Carrie Fisher’s death

By Laura Harding, PA Deputy Entertainment Editor

Actress Billie Lourd has paid an emotional tribute to her mother Carrie Fisher on the seventh anniversary of her death.

The Star Wars actress died at the age of 60 on December 27th, 2016, days after falling ill on a flight from London to Los Angeles.

Fisher’s mother and fellow Hollywood actress Debbie Reynolds, died a day later on December 28th at the age of 84.

Lourd, 31, shared a throwback photo of her and her mother on a beach together with Lourd buried to the waist in the sand and detailed how her grief has evolved over the time.

She wrote: “It has been 7 years since my mom died (but who’s counting?? Me I guess?)

“Every anniversary brings a different iteration of my grief. Some infuse me with rage, some make me cry all day long, some make me feel dissociated and empty, some make me feel nothing, some make me feel guilty for feeling nothing, and some make me feel all of those things all at once.

“This year when I woke up I felt grateful – or griefull if you will.

A post shared by Billie Lourd (@praisethelourd)

“Grief has infused my life with a sense of appreciation I had never had before. It makes me soak up every moment of joy as if it were my last.”

Lourd, who shares son Kingston, three, and daughter Jackson, one, with husband Austen Rydell, said her “eyes welled up with tears of joy” as her youngest child was sleeping in her arms.

She said: “I laughed at myself then cried more cause I was laughing. I felt my mombys presence like the warmth of the sun on your skin on a hot summer day.

“The kind of warmth where you unknowingly close your eyes and take a slow breath through your nose and grin.

“I miss her every day but the cliche is also true – she is with me every day – she infuses my joyful moments with even more joy.

“As I tell my son, she lives in the stars – and she damn sure makes my life sparkle.”

She added: “Sending my love to all my griefers out there. And hoping everyone can feel a little sparkle of griefull among all the feelings grief inevitably brings.”

Fisher was 19 when she was cast in the role of Princess Leia opposite Mark Hamill and Harrison Ford in Star Wars, which would go on to define her career,

Her mother, Reynolds, was the same age when she appeared in Singin’ In The Rain opposite Gene Kelly.