A Mayo Question: Is Christmas for everyone?

"It is a time for mixed emotions and heightened emotions"

by Barbara Daly

Just because Christmas happens to be the biggest holiday we celebrate in this country, does not necessarily mean it is a celebration for all.

It is, of course, supposed to be a religious celebration but like many others it has been taken over by commercialism and consumerism.

I got to thinking lately about whether Christmas is more positive than negative when it comes to people’s experiences.

To those who are practicing Catholics it probably still retains its meaning and purpose, but for the many who no longer practice does it create unnecessary pressure without the spiritual boost it used to provide?

In recent years the power and invasiveness of the marketing surrounding Christmas has made it seem like a lifestyle trend that must be achieved.

There has to be large extended families happily celebrating together at lavishly adorned tables in cosy, festive houses.

There must be games, drinks, trees, gifts, mail, festive clothing and a crisp white environment or it is not Christmas as it should be.

What then of all those alone, bereaved, ill or struggling financially? Those without family nearby and without the means to travel or those that do not wish to be with their extended family?

What of our grey, wet, windy weather and short dark days at that time of the year? What if it does not fit the picture? What then?

We must think too of our immigrant populations, many of whom do not celebrate Christmas for religious reasons or do not wish to celebrate because of what they have been through.

Without wanting to sound like the Grinch, should we tone down our aspirations? Should we try to make this a period of gratitude and kindness with a sprinkling of magic, rather than extravagance and disillusionment?

Children add to the magic of Christmas in many ways but for parents we can often feel added pressure created by the cynical marketing that has grown around the ‘Children’s Christmas Experience’.

“Have you been to Lapland yet?”, we ask each other. How many Santa visits have you done?

Are they having a really magical Christmas or have we missed something? Will Santa give them everything they ask for or will he be sensible and only give what is appropriate?

From what I remember of childhood Christmases they were filled with magic just by the very fact of it being Christmas.

There were few extracurricular activities, but that did not matter. It was Santa, the moderate gifts, the lovely dinner, the movie in the afternoon, the arrival home of older siblings and the visits from extended family.

Christmas for me is now centred around my children and watching the magic through their eyes. It is a time to be thankful for all we have.

But it is also a time when expectations have to be managed otherwise it can overwhelm and disappoint.

It is tinged with sadness for those who are no longer with me and remembering Christmases past in another home with another family.

It is a time of mixed emotions and heightened emotions. No matter how much we might try to play down its significance it is hard not to get caught up in the memories, the emotions, the reflections and ultimately the expectations.

So Christmas continues and the hype around it continues to increase. It is up to each individual how they deal with that. Christmas should be for everyone but the Christmas you have is up to you and should not be prescribed.

Let’s be kind, grateful and thoughtful this Christmas season and let’s not allow ourselves to be sucked in by the pressure of consumerism and unachievable lifestyle aspirations.

The magic is there for all of us and it is free. The rest really does not matter.